Welcome to another installment of Preparing For a Little One. It hasn't been that long that I've been a follower of Kaitlyn over at Wifesessionals, and I was super happy to find her little corner of the web. When she discovered she was pregnant it wasn't long before she created this weekly link-up with topics relevant to pregnancy and having a newborn. It is such a great idea. Anything in a weekly format is great. I haven't been able to do it every week but I've participated in a few of the topics:
This week's topic is all about staying connected to your partner. After three kids, 14 years of being together and 9 years of being married, we're still finding the balance in that. It's ever changing, and develops over time. It can fit the needs of wherever you are in your life. It can be easy and it can be hard. For me I think its gotten harder with each kid we've had, with each move and with each career path. But there are things that we've done that have remained consistent over the years.
1. make time in the hospital special
With our first one, I'm going to honest, it was a very difficult delivery and I was so tired I just don't remember a whole lot about the time in the hospital. However, I do remember that my husband was with me and we spent time together alone, looking at our cute little bundle of joy. With our last little man we decided to not have anyone at the hospital waiting to come in right away. While I think that would have been a difficult decision had it been our first one, especially since I'm so close to my mom, with our last one it was important. We didn't feel rushed or overwhelmed. Hubby helped with the first bath in our room, we ate a meal together and snuggled with our little man. Then we brought our older two in the next morning. If you start off right, making connection of vital importance right out the gate, it will go a long way to preserve that.
2. Don't rush the romance
I guess I mean in a physical way. With our first born it was a fairly painful and long-term recovery. I had an emergency episiotomy and the recovery from that was extremely painful and much longer than the six weeks. My poor sweet hubby was a freaking saint. I think I fell more in love with him then. We took the time to hang out with other, we starting reading more together at night, and building the communication romance. It's easy to get swept away in the stress of the baby and adjusting but if you stay focused on each other, even from the beginning, it will do wonders for your marriage.
3. You have a life separate from your kids (and that's okay!!)
One thing I have always tried to maintain is my own interests, not just for me, but my husband. Maintaining a healthy life without our kids, separate or together, has done wonders for us and will continue to do wonders as our children grow older and are around less and less. I know you must have heard stories of couples that don't know what to do when their kids leave the home. They don't know each other and they have nothing in common. They've been so wrapped up in their kids that everything else is a mystery. Yes, your life must change when you have kids, but letting go of everything else will not keep you connected to your partner or yourself.
Those are the first things that come to my mind, and its always a learning experience, and each child has been a different experience. But if you keep these things in mind and think of your family as equal parts to a whole pie, you will be a success!
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